And now the end is near…

Well hello there! Mum number 2 has arrived!  Well…what I mean to say is I’ve finally emerged from the deepest darkest realms of my laundry basket. How can such a small being generate so much waste (and that’s not just the clothes!)?  

So…yep…I digress, I can’t avoid it any longer, those 3 small words…’back to work’.  How can they send me into such a frenzy? I mean unlike Alex I do still have a few more weeks yet before I hit the office on my first day back, but boy oh boy does it still hurt!

Anyway despite the constant ache in the pit of my stomach, I have slowly begun to get myself together and get a few practical bits done; like fiiiiiiiinally arranging my sons first settling-in day at nursery.

Ok so look in practical terms choosing a date is an easy thing to do, right?  Erm no!

It was possibly one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.  This small act was finally admitting to myself that the time has arrived…it’s real, I’m going back to work and our year together is over.

I know it sounds dramatic, but the feeling I genuinely have is grief.  That all consuming feeling of sorrow, misery, pain, distress and torment, all at having to let go.  

As someone who’s really quite matter of fact about most things, this certainly hit me for six! I’ve cried tears upon tears at the very idea that I will be handing my son over to complete strangers for the better part of the week, every week.  How will he cope? How will I cope? We’ll only know when the time comes.  

I hope you’ll join me on what I expect will be a rollercoaster ride filled with the inevitable ups and downs, twirls and whirls…I just hope I manage to stay on course and that my son and I both come out happy and healthy from it all!

Oh I really should introduce myself…my name is Shal…peace out!

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