Upping the ante

Alex here! Happy Thursday from a really gross, grizzly and FREEZING London.

This week has been a lot tougher than last week. Did I maybe get caught out being a little smug about how easy last Friday was?

I’ve been lucky enough that in the UK, any annual leave that we accrue while on maternity leave can roll over to the next year. This has meant that I’ve been able to use this to do a phased return to work. Last week one day. This week two days. Next week three days. Then I have the next week off for BB’s birthday and nursery settling (and his 1 year jabs) before returning full time on March 1st.

It’s nearly 9pm on Thursday and I’m finally winding down from my second day at work on the trot. I am shattered. My eyes are stinging from the 5:45am alarm and going back to commuting. It also means the second long day in a row for BB.

Work wise, it’s getting easier. I’ve made some breakthroughs with my team, I’m slowly getting used to the new office and I’m finally able to leave the house without being convinced I’ve left something behind. That something would be my child.

Of course I have left him behind but he’s spent one day with my mother in law and one day with my mum. He’s spoilt. He’s given food that he isn’t allowed at home. He gets to play with pets. But, in the least egotistical way, he doesn’t get to spend time with his mummy.

I didn’t see him for more than 30 seconds yesterday, he was lifted out of his cot asleep and handed to my mother in law at the door and I got home after his bedtime.

My favourite time of today? This morning when he woke up and realised I was in his room. His smile lit up the room and he just chanted “mama mama mama” for about 10 minutes.  Worst time of today? Trying to settle a screaming child who was absolutely exhausted but desperately wanted to spend time with the parents he’s used to spending 24 hours a day with.

It just makes the quality time I spend with him on my days off incredible. What’s going to happen when I go back to work full time? Will this change actually encourage us to not have pj day all weekend? Will we actually get out and do things? YES!

So now, I’m feeling a little like BB. Desperately torn between collapsing in to bed and spending some time with my husband. Bed is likely to win, and, there’ll be no screams from me about being in there. Just a big sigh that this week is done and we made it. Again.


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